The Art Of Slowing Down

This post has been a long time coming. Since I graduated from yoga teacher training I've been reading more and more about basically doing less and it meaning more. A big epiphany hit me about a year and a half ago when I was attending a restorative yoga teacher training. We had discussions about the science behind relaxing the body and what it does to our physical and mental states. Legitimately you can increase your sex drive and loose weight just by relaxing! 

I've got your attention now don't I?

Of course it's not as simple as just relaxing once and miraculously you loose 5lbs or want to jump on your partner, but allowing the body to come out of it's high stressed out state and turn off the "mama bear on attack" hormones let's our bodies restore. Come back to a place of resting, digesting our food and pleasure. If you want more info about these things I highly recommend you read/learn basically anything from Michele Theoret from Empowered Yoga.

Since this training I have been on a mission to help share self care. Taking care of yourself actually and truly is not a luxury. Taking care of yourself is bringing you into the "restore" mode. A time for your body to recharge of course, but if you followed along on my Self Care Sunday blog posts for a while, a theme I often had was that you put your phone away. Rest your mind. Because as I said in the Simple Bath post, are you really feeling relaxed in the bathtub as you scroll Facebook? (Especially when that one irritating friend is on a status update rampage).

I say something in my yoga classes all the time too. After we put in some work and some stretching I like to almost always end in a lying twist of some sort where I cue "and move your arms and legs in any way that is comfortable and relax the muscles". Like really relax the body physically. Basically no effort given. Because we are super amazing at multi tasking and doing all the things and being busy, but we SUCK at relaxing and slowing down.

I wont even exclude myself from this. I am totally a hyopcrite a bit here. I am the master of doing all the things and so busy I sometimes feel as if I have missed days or weeks in time. I'm working on it. And that's exactly it. We don't have to be perfect at it or rigidly follow a schedule. We just have to be mindful. Mindful that we have made ourselves so busy that we aren't even relaxing. 

I am a week and a half post surgery and have basically been home most of the time. I thought I would be going crazy from boredom, but in reality? I've slowed down enough to enjoy things. I've slowed down enough to enjoy the moment of laughter with my kids. I've slowed down enough to evaluate the things I do that make me so busy. 

Sit for a moment. Think about everything that has lead you up to this moment today. All your errands or tasks. Pick out the moments that have you brought you joy. Not something you are "working on" in order to get you to joy. By this I mean, you worked an extra couple hours so you could make more money to buy more things that bring you joy. Not that. That's a false idea of joy I think. What had happened in your day where you felt true joy?

THAT is the art of slowing down. Finding those smaller moments of joy sprinkled throughout your day. Isn't that what we are after anyways? Feeling good. Feeling the joy? 

I recently read the book "Mindfulness" by Gil Hasson where it talks about of course we need goals. Things we are working toward are not bad things at all. Gil says "But for longer term goals, the emphasis is not on where you will arrive at, it's on what happens and what you experience along the way. The emphasis is more on the experience rather than the result."

Lightbulb! Slowing down, taking note of whats happening in the current moment IS the joy. 

I work to make money. I make money to pay bills and buy things. I buy things I enjoy. I enjoy these things because they bring me joy. Brief joy or maybe it's prolonged, but none the less seeking joy. But what if in the process or working, making money and buying we are miserable? WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT?!?!?

Slow down, evaluate and be mindful of what we are doing and if it's filling the "doing" side of the column or the "enjoying".

Again, I'm a hyopcrite a bit here and great at being buys, but about to go back into my regular schedule after time off for my surgery, I'm taking a really good look at what the hell it is I am adding back in. Is this important to me? Does it bring me joy? 

Easier said then done I feel, hence the word "art". The ART of slowing down.

Love, 

Jen The Bitchin' Housewife

Self Care Sunday - Taking Yourself On A Date

Welcome back to Self Care Sunday. This week we are talking about taking ourselves on a date. I am all about a girls night out every once and a while for sure, but sometime I find it even more stressful trying to plan them. Every one is busy and finding a date that works can sometimes feel impossible. 

This week my husband was in a course and I had to teach yoga at a place without childcare. My daughters went off to our trusted occasional dayhome so I could teach. Rather then them being there only the hour or so I would be gone I dropped them off an hour and a half before. With no plan to grocery shop or run errands before hand I took myself on a sort of mini date. I went and got an iced coffee, read a bit and even had a mini nap in car from listening to a mediation! (luckily I set an alarm in case that happened!)

So this week, plan to spend some time alone. Same as every week, schedule the time (and keep it), turn off your phone and enjoy this time to yourself. The world will not end, the emails will not vanish and the problems will all still exist when you are done. This time is for you to enjoy. 

A few ideas for self dates:

• Coffee and a book at a local coffee shop.
• Take yourself to a movie.
• Take yourself for dinner. Check out that local restaurant you've been wanting to try. 
• A night at a hotel. A bubble bath, room service and making a mess without having to clean it up. 
• A day of shopping. Real shopping for yourself, not your kids or husband or friends birthday party. If funds are low you can always go to a thrift store. I actually recommend it instead. Save the planet a bit and you never know what you are really going to find. I've found Lululemons for $6!
• Book a photo shoot. You could do Boudoir or some headshots for your Linked In profile. 
• Look up a paint class. Those guided paint classes with wine and snacks are awesome with friends, but totally doable by yourself! I like the Paint Nites. 
• A long drive. Nowhere to go or "stop by" on the way. Here in Alberta we actually have some interesting back roads and sites to see. 
• Book a city community class. Learn pottery or how to knit!

I encourage you to try and find something maybe you wouldn't normally do on your own. Such as a movie or dinner. Remember you are taking yourself on a date. Spending the time falling in love with yourself a little. 

Love, 

Jen

Self Care Sunday - Restorative Yoga

Welcome back to Self Care Sunday. This week let's talk about some restorative yoga. There are many styles and types of yoga, all used for different things. Restorative yoga is a practice more about allowing the body to relax and rest. There is minimal effort put into postures. You take some time setting yourself up in comfort and then relax into it for a few minutes at a time. 

Some of the benefits of restorative yoga are:

• It stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. Turning off the flight or flight response (stress) and tapping into the rest and digestion cycle of the body. This is calming in the mind and physiologically in the body. 
• Helps create body awareness. Slowing down for a few minutes and noticing the sensations in the body is helpful for the rest of our day. Noticing something like tight shoulders and neck, make us more mindful when we sit down at our desks of our posture.
• Improves immunity
• improves respiratory and blood circulation
• Anyone can do it, nearly anywhere!

The beauty of this weeks self care, is that it can be as short or as long as you would like. 10-15 minutes on a lunch break at work, half an hour before bed or whenever you'd like.  Make sure to schedule this time though. We often have wonderful intentions of doing something and put it off until "tomorrow". So plan your time this week to practice restorative yoga once or twice. 

Tips to get the most out of your practice:

• Turn off your phone and other distractions.
• Grab a sweater and/or blanket in case you get cold. 
• Grab a pillow or two.
• Find any other comfort items available given the space. Candles, eye covers, bolsters, yoga blocks or straps. 
• Put together some calming music to listen to. 

You can set a gentle timer to remind you to move after 5 or 10 minutes to the next pose or back to work, in case you fall asleep. Below is a few poses you can try or you can search the internet for a few more. 

After a few poses, end in savasana, by lying on your back without props, take note of how your body feels, taking a few big deep breaths and moving on with your day.

Legs Up The Wall

Seated Forward Fold

Morning Brooke

Childs Pose

Love, 

Jen

I Have Time

I have time. My mantra the last couple weeks. I've been reading from Dr. Joe Dispenza's book Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself. Now I won’t lie, I haven't finished it yet or gotten to learning his meditation techniques, but it's got me thinking a lot.

He talks a lot about the science behind the age old phrase many of have heard a million you times. "You are what you believe you are." What you put your energy into becomes true. This isn't exactly a new concept. But as I've said in other posts about over exposure to these type of sayings, is we become sort of numb to their resonance.

Of course the first step to trying to change something, is observing it. We teach this in yoga.
Observe your breath, observe what you say to yourself while challenged. Observe where your mind wanders. So, in my usual fashion, taking the yoga off the mat I began to observe some of the things I say. What are some things I feel have issues with and what do I say when I have these issues.

I found I fear missing those moments with my kids as I rush them off here and there. I find myself hurrying this and that and those around me. I very much dislike the feeling of being rushed and not having enough hours in the day.

During these rushed moments I found myself saying things like “I have so much to do today.” I’m so busy” “Can we all just hurry?”.  Sound familiar? I’m going to guess like 90% of us?

Now I’ve spent the past two weeks with “I have time”, “everything will get done” “rushing only stresses me out more”, “I feel better in a slower pace”.

You know what? I’ve had time. Everything still got done. I was even very sick for the better part of three days. Which usually means a disaster in my house of things to do to catch up on. Honestly? I slowly did a bit here and there without rushing or stressing about it and it all just worked out.

Try it out. I’m not telling you that you need to sit down for 20 minute meditations every day. Instead of stressing about adding something else to your to list, just observe the things you say in the moments you don’t feel your greatest. Try next time to maybe say something a little more constructive. That’s it. That’s all.

Love,

Jen

The Emotional Lesson I Learned From My 4 year Old

Yesterday morning we dropped off my husband at the airport to head out to work. He is usually home for 10 days and gone for 3 weeks. This has been the schedule for a while. Or something similar since well before either of the kids were born. 

Well, yesterday morning (like at least half of Daddy drop off days) my 4 year old started crying. Intensely. Tears streaming down her face, pout to her lip and all. She was sad Daddy was gone. I immediately stopped the car, got out and hugged and kissed her and tried to help her feel better about seeing him soon.

20 minutes later she was fine and smiling and forgotten all about it. We usually think "Typical child, off to the next thing. Mind like a goldfish." But let me tell you I admire this. 

Last weekend I was in some Restorative Yoga Teacher Training and my teacher wrote a Ernest Hemingway quote on the board. 

"Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat and when you sleep, really sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."

Well today I was angry. And I tried to suppress this anger. Not letting what was bothering me, bother me. But then I thought about my 4 year old and her tears streaming down her face. How she got sad. Good and sad, let it all flow out and then she was done. Letting it all go.

So I got mad. Good and mad. Without reacting I just got angry. I thankfully had an amazing friend there to let me do just that and listen. I got mad and then pouted a bit. Then I was able to just let it go. 

I embraced the intense emotions instead of trying to push them away, felt them and was able to move on. 

Things will upset us, that will never change. It's whether we let it eat us alive or not that matters. 

Love, 

Jen