I Have Time

I have time. My mantra the last couple weeks. I've been reading from Dr. Joe Dispenza's book Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself. Now I won’t lie, I haven't finished it yet or gotten to learning his meditation techniques, but it's got me thinking a lot.

He talks a lot about the science behind the age old phrase many of have heard a million you times. "You are what you believe you are." What you put your energy into becomes true. This isn't exactly a new concept. But as I've said in other posts about over exposure to these type of sayings, is we become sort of numb to their resonance.

Of course the first step to trying to change something, is observing it. We teach this in yoga.
Observe your breath, observe what you say to yourself while challenged. Observe where your mind wanders. So, in my usual fashion, taking the yoga off the mat I began to observe some of the things I say. What are some things I feel have issues with and what do I say when I have these issues.

I found I fear missing those moments with my kids as I rush them off here and there. I find myself hurrying this and that and those around me. I very much dislike the feeling of being rushed and not having enough hours in the day.

During these rushed moments I found myself saying things like “I have so much to do today.” I’m so busy” “Can we all just hurry?”.  Sound familiar? I’m going to guess like 90% of us?

Now I’ve spent the past two weeks with “I have time”, “everything will get done” “rushing only stresses me out more”, “I feel better in a slower pace”.

You know what? I’ve had time. Everything still got done. I was even very sick for the better part of three days. Which usually means a disaster in my house of things to do to catch up on. Honestly? I slowly did a bit here and there without rushing or stressing about it and it all just worked out.

Try it out. I’m not telling you that you need to sit down for 20 minute meditations every day. Instead of stressing about adding something else to your to list, just observe the things you say in the moments you don’t feel your greatest. Try next time to maybe say something a little more constructive. That’s it. That’s all.

Love,

Jen

Restart, Do Over, Just Try Again!

Tomorrow is February 1st. A time to reflect on our year so far. Many of us set resolutions or intentions for the month, year etc and now it's time to check in. 

According to Static Brain only 8% of people complete their new years resolutions. This makes me wonder why? In our world of immediate access to information and usually access to the tools we need to do almost anything we want in life, why do we set goals for ourselves and then forget them?

I imagine there is many reasons, that are very personal to each and every one of us. And that is okay. You are trying your best.

That said, let's take February 1st as our "restart", January was our trial run and we can try again. Let's take it past that though. After February 1st you will likely fall off track from whatever your goal or resolution may be. That important thing is you try and try again. 

Seldom do things go the way we plan they will. When we hit traffic on our way to work, or a meeting doesn't go how we thought it would, do we turn our cars around and drive back home? Do we walk out half way through the meeting? Not usually. So why do we do this with goals? Why do we say "Crap, I fumbled on my diet plan" or "I didn't put away the money I planned to the past two weeks" and believe we just weren't meant for success? 

Get back on the horse, ride through the rough patches and the gentle strolls and reflect on maybe this is what your success looks like. Perfectionism isn't real. Think about anything you've accomplished in your life. Did it go perfectly? Would it have been as fun or as much of a learning experience if it did?

Good luck to you, in whatever your goals are. Just keep trying again. 

Love, 

Jen

The Emotional Lesson I Learned From My 4 year Old

Yesterday morning we dropped off my husband at the airport to head out to work. He is usually home for 10 days and gone for 3 weeks. This has been the schedule for a while. Or something similar since well before either of the kids were born. 

Well, yesterday morning (like at least half of Daddy drop off days) my 4 year old started crying. Intensely. Tears streaming down her face, pout to her lip and all. She was sad Daddy was gone. I immediately stopped the car, got out and hugged and kissed her and tried to help her feel better about seeing him soon.

20 minutes later she was fine and smiling and forgotten all about it. We usually think "Typical child, off to the next thing. Mind like a goldfish." But let me tell you I admire this. 

Last weekend I was in some Restorative Yoga Teacher Training and my teacher wrote a Ernest Hemingway quote on the board. 

"Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat and when you sleep, really sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."

Well today I was angry. And I tried to suppress this anger. Not letting what was bothering me, bother me. But then I thought about my 4 year old and her tears streaming down her face. How she got sad. Good and sad, let it all flow out and then she was done. Letting it all go.

So I got mad. Good and mad. Without reacting I just got angry. I thankfully had an amazing friend there to let me do just that and listen. I got mad and then pouted a bit. Then I was able to just let it go. 

I embraced the intense emotions instead of trying to push them away, felt them and was able to move on. 

Things will upset us, that will never change. It's whether we let it eat us alive or not that matters. 

Love, 

Jen

Fitness Takes A Village

We often say this when talking about raising children. And that is very true. I will not contest that in the slightest. What I don't think that gets spoken about often is that its needed in our health and fitness lifestyle too. 

In our day to to day lives, how many times are we exposed to offerings that are not in our diet or meal plans? Daily, hourly, every minute (thanks Instagram and Facebook and your damn food accounts pfft). Oh sure we can argue it takes willpower. Sure it does. That's not the whole bit of it though. 

Starting a journey into fitness can be exciting. Being honest though, like most new things, the novelty wears off a bit. You have to find that sort of love for it. Read my Love Your Fitness post talking all about that subject. But one thing that can keep you motivated is finding your "village". 

Thinking back on to the hot new fitness regimes out there all the time. A big part of it seems to be the people. Crossfit being the best example of this I think. They compete with each other but in a supportive way. They all do the same daily workout. They are a village in it together. The Zumba phenomenon years ago. A village, dressing in bright colors expressing themselves through their creative dance. Yogi's looking to each other for support and guidance and assistance. Body builders coaching and spotting and competing together. From what I've seen most successfully winning in groups. Families. Villages. 

Taking that outside of the gym, zumba room or barre class, you need your village in support of your friends and family. And that's the more difficult one. You may want to change your ways but your husband or friends don't. You want to stop the Saturday nights binge drinkfests, ball team cookout that could feed an army or just fast food picked up daily by the family. So many motivational and inspirational messages tell us we can't change others, only ourselves. It is a matter of willpower and strength. Half right. Half wrong. We can not change them, but we do not just have to grin and bear it. Seek a village. Seek those with goals like yourself. Connect with those that inspire you, lift you up and support you. 

Something I found profoundly powerful? Asking to be supportive. I tell my husband, "Hey I need to really stop with the wine and candy for a bit. I'm not feeling so hot these days." Now my husband is amazing and he says "okay, I'll be as supportive as I can". Because you know, he's one of those jerks that can eat like crazy and loose weight. *Love you babe* But even if he didn't say that, now he knows my intention. My reason for not having a beer on the deck with him, but a water, or a salad instead of ordering pizza. 

Put your intention out into the world. Really the scariest thing that can happen is you get what you ask for. And hey who knows, maybe you are the one that inspires those around you!

Take care and you are ALWAYS, ALWAYS welcome to share with me here and we can be our own village. 

Love, 

Jen

Quit Smoking With Positive Thought

Today I celebrate 5 years of not smoking.

I wrote the below post 2 years ago on my personal blog I am no longer using, but I thought it was important enough I had to reshare here. The power of the mind is fascinating. You can do anything if you really think you can.

This is something I am extremely proud of, especially after trying probably close to 10 times previously. I smoked for a whopping 13 years. Yes I started at a young age and it was very unfortunate.

I want to share with you my story of how I quit, in hopes of maybe helping someone else.

As so many, I tried many times. I tried patches, gum, food, “will power”, lollipops, water etc. I felt tortured through each process. I read the book “Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Smoking” and it helped. Then I started again. I read it again. Started smoking again. But I do sort of recall using some of his thought processes in order to help me and this is why I share the book with you. It is a great book.

It really start when my younger sister and her boyfriend quit on February 1st. I was a little jealous they quit and I was still smoking and it motivated me. I said I would quit March 1st. Most people do dates like this and then do nothing to prepare until February 28th. I spent the entire month preparing myself mentally for quitting. Every time I smoked I kept thinking “this is disgusting, this doesn’t ACTUALLY taste good, this isn’t good for me” etc etc. As the days counted down I kept thinking about how I couldn’t wait for March 1st, not dread it. I wanted to quit earlier but I really wanted to spend the proper time thinking about how much I hated it. If that makes sense.

March 1st came. I woke up excited, but to be honest a little nervous about how it would play out. I don’t want to give you the impression my mind was 100% the entire time. I was pretty good for the first day, each day was a little more difficult for 6 days. I was a little bitchy, not over the top, your body really is detoxing all that crap. Most importantly every time I had a craving I made a point to honour what it was. “I’m having a craving, I really feel like I need to smoke, but I really don’t NEED to. This will pass.” In the meantime as it passed, instead of thinking about the cigarette as a delicious creature I couldn’t have, I reminded myself of the bad things I thought all month. Then redirected myself to a task, filing, laundry or whatever. I think the important thing is to honour the fact that you are having a craving and work through it. The old mind of matter is real, just not the traditional “will power” way. Thinking through the process in a positive manner, not a negative one. Thats the difference.

Another important factor for me was my visual calendar. Every single morning I went into work and the first thing I did was put a big red X through the day before when I didn’t smoke. It was extremely satisfying to make that mark on the calendar. A visual reminder all day long at my desk of the amazing work I was doing. I did this in my calendar for at least 3 or 4 months.

I additionally did a lot of hot yoga that first month. I did it a lot before, but did it 6/7 days a week then. It felt great to feel the benefits of better breathing. You may find something else for you, but digging into a healthy hobby like that made me feel amazing and helped keep me positive.

Good luck to you on your journey and stay positive.